Former Bachelorette Jackie Gordon welcomes you to “Bachelorville…”

Can you imagine if this imaginary land actually existed? Yikes! Think of all the constant kissing, girl hissing, and tears that would flood the streets daily . . .

I love how the play that Ben and the ladies put on for the community centered around Bachelorville. At the tender age of 12, these kids got the G-rated (thank goodness!) glimpse into the 10 women – on – 1man dynamic (and subsequent antics) that make the Bachelor so entertaining! Even better, this time dressed as friendly, furry, silly fairy tale characters. I like it! And as is true in the “real” Bachelorville, there was a parade of interesting characters, kissing, and we even saw the bachelor stripping down to his skivvies. Wowwy! Time to put the kids to bed!

Side note: Jenna deserves her own separate line here because as much as she may be scrutinized for her emotional outbursts, girl ROCKED that 80 year old wizard costume! You became my idol this episode with your ability to rock that white ‘stache. A+!

Ben’s Brownie Points

It’s probably no secret if you follow my tweets, but I’m a Ben fan. I have to hand it to the guy- there are a few things I’m EXTRA loving so far in this season and episode. For one, Ben’s “real” dates are reflecting his normalcy. There are very few bells and whistles, which leads me to believe that he is less into impressing the girls, and more into letting them into his life and like him for who he really is. His favorite local spots, picnics, his dog/son “Scotch”- they are all reaffirming what I had already believed to be true: that Ben is one cool, normal, laid back and genuine guy. It’s no wonder these girls are getting a bit ‘involved’…

But, let’s get back to the girls.  Who makes it into the Bachelorville hall of fame tonight? Well, in answering the age-old question of blondes vs brunettes, it’s clear that the brunettes won their way into the wino’s heart tonight.

Bachelorville Brunette Bomb # 1

My favorite girl, my new Bachelor Bestie – Kacie B. Now this girl is a breath of fresh air! She’s normal, down to earth, sweet, genuine, AND adorable. Thank you for allowing me to devote the rest of this blog to the other girls! I don’t need to even comment on your performance, other than you and your baton twirling are safe in our Sonoman’s heart. Bravo!

And in those infamous words uttered weekly by Chris Harrison, “ As for the rest of you…”

First of all, thank you for being you. You all bring something quite unique to the table. It’s a tough situation to be in, all vying for such a cute and nice fella’s affection, but I state the obvious here when I say that the personalities here were like a spark to gasoline.

Bachelorville Brunette Bomb # 2

Blakely certainly won the award for turning the most girls off to her. But, the fellow brunette charmed Ben as she admitted, “ (I) believe in my kissing skills, 100%.” Gingerbread man or not, Blakely captured Ben’s interest and secured her lasting fate.  At least to next week. I wonder how Monica was feeling about this. Has her interest in Blakely dwindled?

I love, love, love Ben’s reasoning behind giving Blakely the rose on the group date. If this doesn’t sum up a man’s desires, I don’t know what else does. He begins to say the rose “goes to someone who made the most of her time with me and conversation.” What more could she do to make more of their time than to make out all night and follow him around like his shadow? In normal girl world, that may be considered stalking, but in Bachelorville, it is not only acceptable, but expected and rewarded! Well done.

Bachelorville Brunette Bomb # 3

And lastly, our LA model Courtney secured the final safety rose of the evening, giving Ben’s blonde haired beauties some- umm, ‘healthy’ competition. But, I’d really like to know, why has she been so picky in the past, and yet pretty sure about Ben being so close to perfect on their first date? I’m smelling some sweet talk, Ben..  and can’t help but be a bit skeptical when she says she doesn’t get asked out often. Kind of thinking that maybe he’s a little bit of a conquest to her- just saying. Let’s not forget, she did say she usually gets what she wants.

Bachelorville Exiles

Ah yes, as in every society, there are those that are forced out / exiled. Tonight, we must say goodbye to Shawn and Jenna. The latter, we will most certainly miss! But I think it’s for the best. Any more days on this show might have put her over the emotional edge… plus I’m happier having the old wizard image as my last memory of her. In all seriousness, I really enjoyed her, think she’s very pretty, and far better off being back in NYC and just writing about relationships, rather than publicly experiencing them.

“Family Matters”

So what is making this season so unique? Apart from the girls’ unusual amount of cat fights and jealousy, Bachelorville this season is all about families. So far, we’ve seen old kiddie home videos, local children, a grandma and Ben’s “son” of sorts, Scotch. If there’s any other way to show that Ben is a family man, he’ll be bringing his sister out on his next date. Hmmm….. maybe that’s not such a bad idea?

Tagged Bachelorville, Ben Flajnik, Jackie Gordon